role reversal

Its really strange when you begin to take care of your parents. There is a time in life, and I suspect its between the ages of 24-27, when your thinking begins to shift, circumstances change and you begin to feel a unusual sense of responsibility for your parents. I like it, in a way, but its also very strange at the same time. You begin to see you them in a certain way, realizing their humaness and you feel like you just want to protect them from everything. Since I've been living away in China, I have felt a new appreciation for my parents and the stuff they have had to put up with while my sister and I were growing up. But, also appreciating them for the ways they have taught us to be successful adults, at least, I'd like to think I'm one of those.

My dad slipped and fell on some ice, and broke three ribs a few days ago. Its hard when you see your parents in pain, like you would give anything to take on that pain yourself. Everything that you take for granted begins to become a struggle. Watching my dad trying to do the daily activities that normally are a no-brainer, but now are a struggle, is sobering. I can't help but think God teaches us lessons at very particular times in our lives, in different seasons. Me visiting home this time, is really teaching me the value of my relationships with my parents.

I think about taking care of them in the future and what that might entail. Just something I was thinking about today. I'm going to go and make my dad some lunch now.

the smell of home

I made it home safely. I was met at the airport by my parents who I immediately ran to. So good to see them again. I just love those moments of seeing the people you love after a long time. Seeing how they have changed, or stayed the same, and just wanting to hold onto that moment as long as you can. Since I am still very much jet jagged, everything feels almost dream like.

Visiting home every year feels a little different every time. This time, I can't quite put my finger on it. Places and faces that I have grown up with...I feel like I'm looking at them from the outside somehow. Have I really changed that much? Have I really been away for this long? Its like I can't take anything for granted anymore.

After a long plane ride over an ocean, and walking in my parent's house to the smell of home, gave me a huge sense of relief. My family and I sat around together last night, having our belated Christmas, eating dinner and just talking, I realized that this is one of the most important places in my life. It is so good to be home.

I'm about to go home in a few days. To visit the familiar faces, places and all the good things that comes with home.

It got me thinking about this flag that I have carried with me the past few years. My friend Jacinda and I traveled to Europe together a few summers ago, and we each brought the infamous maple leaf with us to help celebrate Canada Day while we were away. Since then, I've brought it with me to all the places I've been and lived. Just carrying it with me in my backpack.

I have found a certain comfort in keeping this with me. I feel like living away teaches you things about your own country. Like everything you have taken for granted, you begin to love. No country is perfect, but there are parts of Canada that I deeply miss - like the fresh mountain air, the heart on your sleeve mentality, freedom in all shapes and forms, going to church without having to show a passport, and deep shades of red in fall and bright whites in winter. While I am in-love with travel and seeing new places and encountering new things, my home is my compass.

My yearly visit home always bring with it so many emotions. Mostly, I constantly feel a sense of being in two places at once. I can't really put it into words. It's so strange to be planted in more than one place. Both experiences of being a home and living abroad seem to be intensified. Every interaction and every moment is sometimes hard to be taken lightly - because I feel these come to an end more quickly.

I was just thinking about his tonight and wanted to share this with you. I am so excited to be going home. I need to re-fuel.

still laughing

Every once in a while, I have these days in China. China Days. I like to document them because I cannot believe how unbelievably bad and ridiculous they actually are.

10:30 am - I left my apartment to go to work and realized on the way to the subway I didn't put any eye liner on. Yes, it was a travesty. This is only the beginning.

10:50 - After 20 minutes in the face clapping cold, I made it to the place where I was going to meet my friend quickly in the centre of Beijing.I went to the wrong location. Beijing is a big city. I walked for another 30 minutes, this time my face is ripping off from the cold, but finally make it to see my friend. Everything is satisfactory. Or so I thought.

11:45 - make it to work by subway. Arrive at Oriental Plaza. Jessica Simpson's Christmas album is playing in the mall. Yeah, you would have cringed too. I go to get my regular lunch at Ole. This time I get the spicy noodles from Ming, the cute server boy at the counter. I figured I deserved something hot and spicy after my morning. Yeah, and the noodles were good too. ;)

11:50 - arrive in the teachers room of my school to discover my noodles were ridiculously hot and spicy, but I ate them anyways. I began to plan my lessons for the day.

12:09 - just found out the noodles don't agree with me.

12:40 - teach my first class of the day. Topic: Writing a movie Review. I pose a question to the class:

"So...who likes to watch a good movie?"

(class silent).

(I answer) "Well, I sure do! I love romantic comedies and action movies...What about you? (I gesture to a student)

(silence)

"I also love SILENT movies. They are my absolute favorite. Anyone else know about "silent movies"?

(I get a few giggles at this point.)

Class goes on for the next 35 minutes. I only managed to poke my eye out once.

1:40 - more planning for classes. The inside of my mouth is now blistered from the hot and spicy noodles earlier.

3:30 - I go to the washroom and discover I have a new friend...on my face...a zit. Great. My favorite.

3:35 - I realize I am dehydrated, and need some water. On my way to the water machine, 5 students stop me to asks questions. While I normally love to help them, I was in desperate need of some water. I never made it to the water machine, as I now had another class to teach.

3:40 - Next class topic: Practicing telling stories and reacting to surprising information. I walk into class,

"So guys, I have some big news to tell you..."

(silence)

"I'm getting married tomorrow."

(silence, one student yawns)

"So, yeah, I'm moving to France to live with my French husband."

One student says, "Really?"

I say, "Yes. Really. And you can come on our honeymoon if you like."

4:40 - Want to go for my break, but need to make a paper airplane for my class on "Arts and Crafts." I sit at my desk and attempt to assemble this. 20 minutes later, I'm still sitting at my desk, trying to make this paper airplane. It can't be that difficult - but, apparently it is. I need to know the order of how I did this, so the students can follow my directions in class and then explain it to their partner. I get a coworker to make it for me... even he can't even figure it out.

5:40 -I go to class in hopes that some students might have some small idea about how to assemble this device. 2 people did. 23 didn't. The paper airplane was supposed to be the high point of my day. It crashed.

6:40 - was going to go get some dinner downstairs in the mall, but had some late minute planning to do. I realize at this point I haven't been out of the office for most of the day. Cabin fever begins to settle in.

6:45 - I go out into the student area, just wanting to visit with some students for a while. One student, ever so confidently, comes up to me and says, "Jane, your ears are so big." I'm confused, obviously, and say, "Umm, my ears?" The student replies, "Oh, your eyes. Your eyes are so big." "Umm, thank you?"

9:30 - finished class for the day. I basically run out of the school, go down the 4 escalators, through the long hallway, past the security guard and into the subway station in the basement of Oriental Plaza. I look in my purse and see I forgot my wallet. I have to go back. Back through the long hallways, up the 4 escalators and into the school. The staff are JUST closing the doors as I literally yell, "nooooooo.waaaaiiiiittttt!" I got that wallet. Oh yes, I did.

10:30 - by this point, I am at my subway stop, and I get off and get ready to face the cold again outside. I make my way up the stairs, begin to wrap my scarf around me, doing this apparently just a little too dramatically - and I totally wipe out on the icy pavement. Just the cherry on the top of my day.

10:50 - am home. Face slapped from the cold, mouth blistered from the spicy noodles, hungry, pride and back-side wounded...and you know what?

I'm still smiling. Laughing actually.