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The night I left Guangzhou, there is something I will remember forever. I wanted to share it with you.

As the night of my goodbye party came to a close, and there were just myself and a few students left, I sat with them and we talked and enjoyed our last few moments together. These people were my first impression of China and the Chinese. They helped me to become a better teacher, and a better person. I felt so sad to be leaving another group of great students.

 As we got up to leave, we asked the bar staff to take a picture of us. As I was standing there with just 10 students, one of them reached out to hug me. I felt her starting to cry. These students who I now consider my friends, all started to crowd around and put their arms around us. It was quite a strange sight, in the middle of a practically empty bar. We laughed, and told each other that this year has been so memorable. I told them that they make my job so meaningful and wonderful. One of them then said so heartfeltly, "Jane, you are the best wonderful."

We all burst out laughing with joy, while she then questioned, "What, is my grammar not correct?" We assured her that she said what was in her heart.

I guess for people who are in a teaching role, we never really know the kind of impact we have on students. We just try to do our job and have fun. On the flip side, I don't think students know the kind of imact they have on us. I try to carry that with me wherever I go.

beijing, day one.

Last night, as I said goodbye to the students and friends who I have met this past year in Guangzhou, I was reminded of how lucky I feel to be doing what I am doing and meeting the people I am meeting. As I sit here in a warm scarf I got as a gift, in my hotel room in Beijing, I'm so excited to be on a new adventure in the capital city of China!

I was welcomed to Beijing by a fresh zero degrees, and met a rep from my company to take me to my hotel. The city looks different from when I saw it back in November, with no leaves on the trees. An almost bleakness in the air. Beijing is known to take on this quality in winter. Still, there are characterisitics of this city that I think can surpass even the bleakest of winters. The old streets, the bicycles, the people walking the streets.

 As I hopped in the van with all my luggage, I looked out the window to see a low, red sun in the distance, and locals riding bicycles. The hotel even invites a kind of image of what Beijing is for me. From the outside, its almost temple-like. Inside, is a courtyard, with a restraunt with glass walls, and my room has a giant king size bed with Chinese style architecture.

I'm on my own again. This time more confident, even more excited for the adventures that lay around the corner. Speaking of which, I venture out to grab a bite to eat tonight and to explore Hutong (famous alley ways in Beijing.), and a local Beijinger elderly man grabs my attention and asks me where I'm from. With my broken Chinese, I tell him I'm a teacher, and am from Canada. I ask him where I could get something to eat, and this guy not only takes me to a fantastic local restraunt, but he pays for my dumplings. 

Now, having been in the south of China for the past year, I felt myself growing skeptical of help a stranger would give me on the street (in Japan, I never felt that way, but China has somehow increased my suspiciousness. Don't know if I like that). It was so refreshing and welcoming to have a local show me a restraunt.

As I walked back to my hotel, along the hutong streets, I had this feeling. A quiet expectation that this will be a year like no other. The next few days will be filled with apartment hunting, meeting my new coworkers and staying bundled up.

in between cities...

Recently, I have had some interesting comments said to me. Comments that I don't know how to respond to:

"So, when are you going to settle down?"

"Jane, it seems like you can't live in a place for a long time."

I am 26 years old. I'm young. I am a traveler. I am an artist. I am proud of my life. I want to continue to paint my life. To make music. To document it. I'm proud of  the things I am doing, the places I am going, the people I'm meeting and the experiences I'm having. I recently heard a quote in a movie saying, "How can you expect to simply live an ordinary life?"

How can I simply expect to live an ordinary life? I want to live life consciously. Eyes wide open. As I'm going to be moving to Beijing in just under a week, I think about what sort of experiences I will have there. How my life will change yet again. And I think, how can I not seize a new experience like this? How can I not challenge myself to new heights? Sometimes I do think I'm a little crazy for trying all these new things, but I think its others who make me feel this way. But, the most important voice I have learned to listen to is my own. 

In the midst of boxes, last minute details, waiting for my new visa and passport, spending time with friends in Guangzhou, working the last 2 days at my school, and eventually getting on yet another plane ride, everything begins to come into perspective.

I'm so excited to move to Beijing. The city I fell in love with in just the 5 days I visited there. I knew that part of my experience in China is to LOVE where I am living. And while I love my friends in Guangzhou so much, and my work, but not alot about the city has grabbed me to want to stay here. I've learned that living abroad is not about settling, its about seeking. Seeking some new insight. Learning new things and listening to what my experiences tell me.

So, my responses to those 2 comments,

"When the right person finds me."

"Yes, the travel bug has bit me. And, I love that."

I've decided to do a little something more with my photography these days. I will be posting on a new website now, so you can go to take a look. I will be updating this more regularly, so you can go to take a look if you like.

As I was going through my pictures from the past couple years, I realized how much I have loved traveling to the places I have and the best part is I love sharing it with people.

So, take a look, and I hope you enjoy this collection of my photos.

Click here!

You can also go to the side bar and click "my photography".

Thanks to everyone who keeps coming back and visiting my site. I'm happy to share my thoughts with you. 

pages

I looked at my passport today. Flipped through the pages. And not a page was blank. Everyone last one of them - full. Full of stamps, holiday or working visas, dates of passing through cities and countries, and stories. As I flipped through these well travelled pages, I was at first stressed because I knew that I a. needed to get a new passport or b. fill it with more pages. But, now I see what a divine problem this actually is.

My passport is full. These pages have told a story to me about who I am, where I have been and where I am going. If I need to get a new passport, I think I would actually be a little sad, knowing I would have to part with it. This book has gotten me into countries, gotten me out of problems, and gotten me into problems, and has been a kind of identity while being away. I would much rather fill it will more pages, more pages to be filled and stamped. I made it in and out of Spain and Morrocco safely on this passport, almost left it behind once in Japan, got it wet a couple times, took it through the jungle of customs at the Vietnam border and gave it to authorities when I first arrived in China.

Tommorrw, I have to go to the Canadian Embassy in Guangzhou to decide what needs to be done with it, as a new visa will soon need to go in there. I hope that I can keep it and continue adding to the story.

Does your passport say anything about you?

leaving...

I'm at the airport now, waiting for my flight back to China.  I always hate these days. Having to say good bye to my family for the nth time never gets any easier. There is a part of me that always tries to cling to my parents, and I never want to let go. As I am trying to hide behind my laptop, and attempting to fight back big fat tears, I hear these lyrics in my ears...

"You are the hope living in us

You are the rock in whom we trust."

I am realizing that this whole experience will always be bigger than me. It will always be more than I can take in. And, I know that I feel His calling in what I am doing.

As I soon take off, I think of all the people in my life who support me, encourage me and challenge me.

So, as I continue to wait for my flight, I realize I am not alone. Now, I can't help but feel tears fall down my cheeks. For everything that has been, everything that is, and everything that will be as this grand adventure continues.

clay

No more putting things on hold. No more of this. I just want to seize everything that life has in store. I want to discover it all. I want to breathe it in. I want to not just say, but do. I want to re-arrange. I want to re-prioritize. I want to re-group. I want to understand better. I want to be more than I am. I want to recognize I am more than I am. No more "someday"...no more "one day" no more, "I wish". I want to make these things happen. I want to actually DO the things that other just read about in books. When I think, I want to be able to just hear my own thoughts. When I speak, I want to hear thoughtfulness. I want greater things. I want to see more of the world. I want to participate in its changing and it's shifting, and its stillness. I want to know more. I want to read more. I want to play more. I want to create more. I want to soak more. I want to listen better. To respond appropriately. To understand people exactly for who they are. I want to take care of myself better. I want to take care of others better. I want to grow. I want to be challenged. I want to be taught by other cultures. I want to un-learn taken for granted values. I want my life to be shaped by God. I want to be clay. I am clay. I am clay. I am clay...