Tales from Tibet: The First 48 Hours.

(some names of places/names have been ** to ensure anonymity)

My journey begins on the train from Beijing to Lhasa. I can’t believe after all my preparation that the trip is finally here. I’ve got my warm mittens, my long underwear and took my last dose of altitude pills. I made it to Beijing’s West Station, where I caught the train at 9:30pm. I can’t believe in just a matter of 48 hrs, I journeyed from the east to the west of China. Since moving to this country almost 3 years ago and hearing so much about Tibet – it’s mystery and beauty, I knew that I would eventually travel here some day. This dream has finally come true. I knew it the moment I stepped onto the platform and saw the sign on the train: BeijingXi à Lhasa. This trip hasn’t come without anxiety either. I wasn’t sure I should travel with a friend or do this trip on my own. Ultimately, I felt that this was a place I needed to discover on my own terms, while still hiring a local guide to be with me for the next 8-10 days. But, I could decide where we would go, how long we would stay there.

I decided to splurge and go with the soft sleeper. It was a little extra, but this meant that I had nice sheets, a tv, a closing door, and extra oxygen if needed (the cabin is pressurized, so when we reach altitudes of nearly 5000m, I would be sure to survive.) My three bunk mates arrived. In my broken Mandarin, I learned that they were from Beijing were going to Germu (in Qinghai province) on business. I also learned early on they were quite friendly – offering me food, drinks and cigarettes, even though I’m not a smoker. They were so comfortable, in fact, that one of them even sat on my bunk in his underwear, while I wasn’t there. When I returned, they inquired about the authenticity of my blonde hair, and watched me carefully as I wrote in my journal with my left hand (being left handed in China apparently quite a novelty).

I read for a while, then turned over and nestled in for a good nights sleep.

The guy in his underwear began to snore. I’m off to a good start.

I was up early the next morning to the sound of one of the attendants announcing breakfast. I make my way to the restaurant car, and look out the window and am pleasantly surprised to see rolling hills, the absence of tall buildings and a sun drenched sky. Out of polluted Beijing. The day also brought with it new faces. I met a fellow Canadian, 65 years old, who told me about his adventures traveling around the world mostly by train. Also exchanged some stories with two Latvians who were going to stop by Mount Everest on their trip. I get the impression that a unique kind of traveler comes to this place.

The hours seem to go by in minutes, as the scenery outside the window is constantly changing – flat grass land one minute, rice paddies the next. Passing by the city of Xian later in the day, a place I had been to about a year ago with my family. This time, I was seeing only the perimeter of the city wall, decorated with red lanterns.

My only agenda: sit, read, listen to music, write, take the occasional photo and enjoy the passing scenery. I couldn’t peel myself away from the book -“The He*venly Man” – a true story of a Chr*stian mission*ry in China. While China’s scenery was unfolding before my eyes, so was the reality of this man’s story. The best book I could possibly bring with me on a trip like this. This is the beauty of traveling by train, you have hours of time at your disposal. And on this occasion, I also had time to adjust to the ever increasing altitude. My ears were already popping.

I noticed how the scenery became increasingly varied the higher and higher we got. That afternoon, I saw incredible jagged mountains, grasslands, and small villages. Before I knew it, the afternoon passed and we are into the next evening. It’s just 8pm, and “Mr.Underwear,” as I am affectionately calling him, has already snuggled in for the night. I opened my China travel book to semi prepare myself for the things I will be seeing and doing. 10:30. My eyes began to get droopy, so I turned of my little light. The cabin… completely dark…and yet, a new light shone through the window…

…A full moon and the most incredible starry host I have ever seen in my life. By this point, I really started to notice how high up we actually were: the tops of the mountains were seemingly at eye level, and the sky actually looked closer, as if I could just pick any star and put it in my pocket. People who have traveled to Tibet before have told me, and I began to understand, that it isn’t called “the rooftop of the world” for nothing. All of heaven was seemingly displayed before my eyes.

The next morning, I woke up and heard and announcement that we had finally reached the Tibetan Plateau – which means that we had climbed up to an altitude over 4000m. That is high people! I opened the curtain and it looked desolate. Like no civilization had even touched these parts of China. All I could see was beautiful snow capped mountains, sheep, goats, and yaks! I went to brush my teeth, and wash my face – I opened my tube of tooth paste and facewash - poof! They exploded! I got back to my cabin, and had to sit down cause I noticed I felt a little sick to my stomach and a little dizzy.

We stopped next to Namsto Lake, the worlds highest saltwater lake. Its hard to tell where the lake ends and the sky begins. It is so vast. Everyone on the train stopped to peer out the window to take pictures. Now I really feel like I’m on top of the world. The scenery after this point continued to blow me away. Tibetan homes began to appear in the countryside, the sky is story-book blue, and Lhasa is on the horizon. I would soon be arriving in the capital of Tibet.

Its October 7th in Beijing!

Its my birthday. And I get my own song! Even the lyrics kind of apply...a little.

Jane you say it's all over for you and me, girl
There's a time for love and a time for letting it be, baby
Jane you're playin a game called...
Called hard to get by its real name
Makin' believe that you just don't feel the same

Oh Jane!

Jane you're playin a game you never can win girl
You're stayin away just so I'll ask you where you've been baby
Like a cat and a mouse (cat and a mouse)
From door to door and house to house
Don't you pretend you don't know what I'm talkin about

Were all those nights we spent together (hey hey)
Only because you didn't know better
I've got to know
Jane, you're playin a game, you're playin a game, playin a game

Jane Jane Jane
Oh Jane you're playin a game of hide and go seek
Jane you're playin for fun but I play for keeps (yes I do)
Jane Jane Jane
that's a game on me yeah
Jane Jane Jane
it's so plain to see
Jane Jane Jane
Janie, Janie, Janie, Janie
Jane Jane Jane
Why you foolin' with me, me, me
Jane Jane Jane...

Why is it with every weekend getting closer and closer to my exit from China, it just keeps getting better and better? I thought I would be going through the motions of feeling more and more ready to leave this country, but with every weekend brings a great anticipation for the next.

Over the past 2 months, I've grown very close to people in my church community here. Being a foreigner in China really causes people to come together and support one another in a really powerful way. As we have moved around quite a bit this past year because of the government, I've begun to realize how important this community is to me.

As we have grown closer, God has increased our faith in Him. Through this, I've learned that I can never take God's love or power for granted. His love is surprising, unsettling and it sweeps you off your feet when you least expect it.

I’ve heard that verse from the bible before about “Lord my ears have heard of you, but now my eyes have seen.” I feel like somehow I’ve been given both a new set of ears and eyes. As if I’m seeing and hearing familiar sights and sounds for the first time.

The previous week leading up to our Saturday night service at my international church here in Beijing a few weeks ago, I was left restless most nights. I couldn’t sleep and I felt like something was keeping me up. A prayer on my heart was asking God to move me to a new place, new atmosphere. I feel like my whole journey of traveling and living abroad has been about these themes. In worship, I wanted to move beyond just singing songs to pressing into God’s heart. One night I was even at my keyboard, singing and finding myself with new melodies I had never heard of. Hours went by in minutes, and I felt like I needed to get out and produce the worship in my heart.

Saturday came for our church service. Something was brewing. I felt a sense of peace come over me. As our congregation began to enter into worship, what happened next made my knees shake. As my fingers touched the keyboard and my lips began to sing "Worthy is the Lamb" - I heard a new sound. Above the congregation. Like a beautiful violin. The sweetest, most majestic melody from heaven. I looked around the congregation attempting to find the person who was producing the sound...but I couldn't find anyone. The more I sang, the more I wanted God to be glorified. We continued to play and sing as the sound seemingly "danced" over us. If sound had a colour, this sound was filled with golds, blues, greens, reds...Everyone one of my hairs stood on end. Like, the congregation, our worship team and this violin were all one symphony to glorify our beautiful Savior.

I felt like a daughter, dressed in white, singing before my Creator. I never spoken like this before. Then again, I've never experienced worship like this before. I could always feel God's calling on my life when I play for him, but I never knew that He moves in such a powerful way so as to create an audible sound for our ears to hear. There is a whole other spiritual level that, I believe the Holy Spirit is just itching to share with us.

Since then, I have felt my ears have become more attune to what God is trying to communicate with me. All I want to do now is hear God's voice. Learn to recognize it and follow it, purely just for the joy of being in His presence. He is so beautiful and worthy to be worshiped. When we seek Him with our whole heart, He gives us incredible gifts.

This has really increased my faith. He reveals himself to us in so many ways, even when we don't even know it. His Holy Spirit is dynamic, and moves like a strong wind and a gentle breeze at the same time. I just wonder when He is going to speak next...

Falling

Mark Tedder is an amazing singer/songwriter/worship leader who is has done incredible work in China. He has a worship planet ministry, where him and his band travel all over the world - equipping local worship leaders (www.worshiplanet.com). I'm really inspired by a story I just read about him:

“I went to these little apartments in Beijing – remote dark alley places – to listen to them play. As I was sitting there tears welled up in my eyes – here are people living in a society that they can’t get out of,

and they’re making the best of it.” “I told each of them I’d understand if they chose not to take part because of the risks involved, but every one of them without fail said ‘You know what? We don’t care. We want to do this!’ If it was for nobody else other than those four precious Chinese musicians who played on the project, if it does nothing other than minister to them and give them hope, it was worth it.”

This video of the song "Falling" that he wrote, shows images from my church here in Beijing - everyone from every nation worshiping under one roof. I also just learned that the album with this song, was the first worship album ever recorded on mainland China. We can never take worship for granted. What an honor it is to worship in this country. In an country for that matter!

I just found out I will be leading worship with Mark this Saturday night at BICF. I am so excited and humbled for this opportunity to share in leading together.

God is doing amazing works in China. It never ceases to amaze me.

the theme song of my life right now...

This song gets me like none other. It makes me happy and sad all at the same time. Listen to the first line and you will understand.

Beijing on a bicycle changes things. My bicycle is my time for myself. To begin the day, to end it, and to carry me through one adventure to the next. I can't really describe my love for bicycles. It's as if Beijing is waiting to be explored when I put my feet on those peddles. It represents so much of my time here. Mostly, it's given me a kind of freedom. Like everything is ok or soon will be.

adventures in speed dating

I’ve recently been in a season of overcoming my fears.

When my friend Meg had originally asked me to participate in a "speed dating" event, I thought…no freaking way. I’m not putting myself out there for a group of 17 men. I’d rather be run over by a car, thank you very much.

I took about 24 hrs to think about it, and the more I considered it, the more I thought…well, there’s a first time for everything. If I can travel around the world, I can at least put on a cute dress and walk out my door. I mean, come on, where’s my sense of adventure? Funny, how it’s easier to do difficult things like navigate strange lands or go sky diving, but to spend an evening speed dating…what?? I still can’t believe I did it.

First of all, I need to clarify, that speed dating is not an event at all. Its more like a sport. You have two teams, men and women, a cow bell every six minutes, a score sheet to keep track of hits and misses, and a break at half time to quench your thirst. By the end of the evening, you are sweating and exhausted…from all the talking. So much talking.

The evening started off with a tall glass of white wine, a score sheet, and my glossed lips. Game on. I had no idea what to expect. All I knew is that I had 6 minutes to somehow figure out if I had a “connection” with someone.

The bell rings. Crap. Here we go.

The first guy comes to my table. I can’t even pronounce his name, nonetheless remember the country he’s from because I am so nervous. We start to casually talk about how long we’ve been in Beijing, what we are doing here, food we like. Safe. Decent. Ok, just getting warmed up. I realize, about 3 guys in, that I’m being too optimistic, and check the box on my score sheet “friend first, then date.” My results definitely became more skewed as the evening went on.

The fourth guy. Chinese. The only reason I remember him is because I was the one who was asking him all the questions. The first question he asked me, “So, what part of the States are you from?” (stab in the heart)

“Umm, I’m actually from Canada.”

“Oh, I can never tell the difference between those countries.” (stab in the heart)

Off to a great start with this one. He talked about himself the whole time. I made the mistake of asking him, “So, what do you do?” Let’s just say…I felt like I was an interviewer on tv. I was asking all the questions. I found out he is a boxer. He’s been doing this for 10 years. He studied sports science or something fancy like that in university. He loves to work out. He’s proud of the bruise on this left arm. He had to get stiches during a match in university. Blah.Blah.Blah. No.Thank.You. I’ve exhausted my list of “wh” questions. I soon learn the beauty of this event is that you realize who will make the cut…and who won’t. The 6 minutes can go by either in the blink of an eye or painfully slow. If someone gave me a pencil…I would be poking my eyes out at this point.

Next in line, was an anthropologist from England. Very cool. Finally, a conversation I think I can really sink my teeth into. He’s lived in 5 different countries over the past 5 years. The conversation is flowing as we exchange travels we’ve been on, talk about Chinese culture or interests we have. All of a sudden the bell rings. Damn. I quickly tick the “friends first then date later” option on my score card. Cautiously optimistic.

Guy Number 8. Oh Guy Number 8. He looks, well, older. So, I figure, I’ll humour him and get through the 6 minutes. He works in computers or something in Beijing. He’s been here 8 years. Making it over 5 years in this country is a feat in itself. He then drops the bomb, “Look, I gotta be honest with you…I’m married and I’ve got a kid at home. I just thought this was an event to meet people.” Umm..I’m thinking… Did you get the memo that said, “Speed DATING?” Dating. DATE-ING. There is one minute left…I try to conjure up something to say…this comes out: “Ummm…ok…so, how’s that working out for you?” First time to check the “not a match” option on my sheet. Definitely not a match. No hesitation there. All cautious optimism shattered at this point.

Half time…or…ahem…break time. I feel as though I need someone to throw a bucket of cold water on myself, get a coach to massage my shoulders or help me figure out my game plan for the next round. I quickly de-brief with Meg. We decide to allow ourselves to float over to the bar to partake in a beverage. We compare notes, while trying to remember who was who, and enjoying a quick orderve…the bell rings again.

I should explain that the women, all 17 of us, were sitting around perimeter of the restaurant. We stay put for the evening, every six minutes the guys rotate. I mentioned to the next guy who appeared at my table, Marcus, from South Africa, that I like how the guys are all coming to us, and he replies, “Yeah, and the girls are just waiting for us at our beck and call.” Ummm…I mentally check the “just friends” option…joke or not…I’m not at your beck and call, Mister. Next please.

Next guy, a fun easygoing English teacher from the UK, someone I think I will be able to relate too. We share funny stories about teaching in Asia, discuss favourite hidden spots in Beijing, and then as we continue talking, he reveals the most hilarious story about helping one of his 6 year old students go to the washroom, and I belt out a huge, top of my lungs, traffic-halting, well…yelp of a laugh. Mortified. Did he notice? Yep. I think he did. I think I just got the “not a match” box ticked on his score card. Well, an embarrassing moment had to happen at least once in the evening. I’m glad I got that over with.

The next few conversations seemed to whiz by, things are getting easier, questions don’t feel so unnatural, people are starting to loosen up more and not take things so seriously. Met a cool, rather strangly-looking chap from London, who teaches animation at a university in Beijing. I’m cooling my jets at this point. I begin to realize that it’s pretty cool to be sitting in a room, full of other expats like myself, all trying to meet people. There is a kind of buzz in the room. I take the pressure off myself and just continue to enjoy my now almost empty glass of wine, maintaining my composure quite well I must add.

Moving on further down the line to guy number 13. It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Guy number 13. Now, he was unexpected. He shook my hand. Unassuming, sweet and super funny. A Brit. We soon found out that we had something in common…we both lived in Japan and now found ourselves now in Beijing. He reminded me of all the things I loved about this country. Six minutes went by in a mere second. Conversation was effortless. We laughed most of the time, carried on about this and that…time was up. This was way too much fun. After we parted, I quickly checked the “want to date” option on my score card. The four remaining men were kind of a blur after that.

Before I knew it, the evening came to a close. I write my contact info at the top of my score card and then hand it to the hosts of the evening who then calculate my score and find out who my “matches” are. By this point, I’m just glad the night is done. I wish I had some other language in my disposal, as English seems to fail me. I’ve never talked that much at once in my life.

Since that evening, I have received my results, which I think I’m going to keep to myself. But, all I can tell you is…I put up a good fight, I came and conquered, and maybe I’ll get a chance at the play offs.

freedom in honesty

This Saturday evening at my church, the speaker was talking about walls in our lives, meaning the ones we need to build up, and others we need to tear down. We were challenged to pray with someone that we didn't know very well in the service. I told myself that I was just going to be honest with this person about what I needed prayer for. I was. About something I've been struggling with recently. Its kind of scary being honest with yourself, and others. But, I took that risk. I think something happens when you are honest...you are freed. Freed from that 'something' you've been holding onto. Its not like those "Aha!" moments Oprah talks about, but its a kind of quite release, where you allow yourself to be held in the arms of the Creator.

I used to feel guilty about being prayed for. Like I didn't deserve it somehow. I think that God uses other people to speak words of life to us. He wants to bless us through others.

Today, I walked into work and felt free. Free from the something I had been holding onto.