the epic internet adventure

I'm sitting in my apartment, internet in my hands, and I sigh of relief. I can now talk to my family and friends again without any restrictions. I am opening a bottle of wine to celebrate. Everything is back to normal, well, as normal as I can feel in China. The steps up until this point have been seemingly epic. My lack-of-internetness became not only about getting connected, it started to become all consuming. While living on my own now, I have had to muster everything in me to keep my cool and realize that this too is a part of my experience in China. I just wanted to share with you my agony, and my sheer joy over these past couple weeks...

1. I first contacted my agent to let her know the internet wasn't working a week after moving into my apartment. I was still in the honeymoon phase. Loving my place and putting the finishing touches everywhere.

2. I waited for 3 days to hear from her. No response.

3. she later informed me that I had to go to the basement of the apartment building to collect this mysterious phone in order to connect to the internet. I walked down 2 flights of stairs in the dark, into a room with no windows, where I somehow managed to communicate in my broken Chinese, that I needed this phone.

4. I cam back to my apartment, i tried to connect, and I was soon becoming familiar with the pop up message - error. These 5 letters eventually caused me more anxiety that I can shake a stick at.

5. my agent came to the apartment over the next few days, and after 2 hrs of calling random internet companies, we contacted one who was actually willing to come to help us within 24hrs. She had called so many numbers, that after a while, she dialed my number, I answered, she spoke in Chinese, and we realized we were at our last straw.

6. the next morning, at 8:30am, I get a knock at my door. The internet guys. Now, I can't speak very good Chinese, and they couldn't speak any English, nor could they read the error messages on my computer. After then realizing that my modem was in-operable, and they could not do anything, I called my real estate agent again and again. I almost lost it altogether. Then, after getting ahold of her, she called the landlord to get a new modem.

7. The next day, everyone and his dog came to my apartment to drop off this modem

8. Wait for it...

9. The internet was still - dare I say it? - not-freaking-working. I went to bed that night and had a dream...ahem...nightmare about my freaking internet. I dreamt the error message kept attacking me.

10. I began to pray the next morning...

11. I get a call from my parents, I start to cry. So frustrated at this point. The internet was becoming my worst enemy.

12. I go to work, mention I'm having problems with my internet to a student who happens to be a computer engineer (thank you very much!), and he happily told me to bring in my computer to school and he would configure it. I love "guanxi" in China (relationships)

13. I woke up the next day, thinking about my internet, dreading yet another day without it. By this point, my internet just wasn't about keeping in touch with the world, it was about doing everything in my power and mustering every skill that I had in order to see this through. My dear student Ivan took a couple hrs in a classroom with my computer, said it should be working fine. Still a bit skeptical that this would actually work, I told him that I owed him a big cup of milk tea the next day.

14. I came home, opened up my computer, plugged it in, held my breath, closed my eyes...

15. and...

16. it worked. it works.

17. I poured myself a glass of wine, and am now pleasantly surfing the internet once again.

Everything is as it should be. I am in heaven. Cyber-space heaven.

Sometimes, I'm too passionate. I need to calm down, or take it down a notch.

I had this ambitious plan this morning about exploring some Beijing hutongs (old alleyways with unique architecture), and taking pictures to my hearts content. But after going to the gym, making myself some lunch, I ended up just getting a massage instead. Turns out, that is what I actually needed. 

I do feel, however, a little disappointed in myself. That is not really like me...to just bypass a creative venture like that. Especially when these were the first days off when I actually didn't have to do anything related to unpacking boxes or buying something for my apartment. I think my body was just saying "rest".

I'm glad I did. Now, I'm in a coffee shop, just catching up on emails, talking to a friend, and playing with pictures. I feel like I caught up with myself, in a sense. And, its ok. Today was a restful day. Looking forward to my next weekend though, when I'm going to do some serious exploring. The atmosphere here in Beijing really demands exploration.

ready and waiting

Wow, these past two weeks have been a total whirl-wind. I can't believe all that has happened. I've moved into my apartment, sorting out the details of my job, meeting people left right and centre, and attempting to adjust to life in this fast paced city. There are some things I have learned about myself in this process:

1. I am completely comfortable living on my own. I think I avoided this for so long because I was afraid of the "l" word: loneliness. But, turns out that I feel more like myself. I can create the kind of space that I desire, and be totally free. I don't know why I really avoided this before.

2. I'm still a little paranoid. Hearing sounds, creeks, or smelling foreign smells in my apartment makes me antsy. Especially when I don't have anyone to ask them about, or sus things out with. I'm learning though that a little paranoia is a healthy thing. At least, I'm trying to convince myself it is

3. I have become strangely more responsible in the last 2 weeks. I'm starting to take vitamins (weird), clean up after myself, and cook...actually cook.

4. I LOVE to walk. I could walk hrs in this city and not be tired. I walked to the train station this morning, and I loved the view from every direction. Beijing is a city of amazing architecture and interesting alleyways, and I want to see them all.

5. There is a fruit vendor down the street, and just seeing his children makes me want to buy more fruit and give it to them.

6. I finally am able to articulate to myself that I see life as possibility, and not as drudgery.

7. I have the best friends and family in the world, that no matter where I am in the world, they support me and ask me how I am doing, and we manage to stay in each others life.

8. Having my own apartment has been the best thing ever for me.

I can't wait to see what this next year has in store. I finally feel settled, ready and waiting.
Beijing, here I am. God, here I am.