dashan

Today I emailed a guy who goes by the Chinese name of "Dashan" (aka Mark Rosewell, his English name). He is perhaps the most famous foreigner in China. Originally from Canada, he has actually been living in China for a little under 20 years. I've come to know him through hearing the students talk about him, and through seeing him on tv. He is known for almost perfect Chinese language skills, his sense of humour, and his engaging charisma with the Chinese public.

I emailed him on a whim because I will be travelling to Beijing (where he lives) next week, and my friend and I got this idea to try to see if we could have lunch with him. Sadly, he will be out of the country when we are there, but he thanked us for the invitation.

There is something so intriguing about this guy. He has lived in China for so long, and has obviously worked so hard at learning the language, that when you close your eyes and listen to him speak...you would swear he is Chinese. When he walks into a room, others appear immediately engaged. He has become so successful - doing numberous tv shows, commercials, giving public appearances and speeches. When he speaks, you can see the passion he has for the Chinese language. Its actually really inspiring.

But, Dashan raises an even deeper question in me. Is it really possible to be completely integrated into another culture? He has lived most of his adult life in China, which now gets me to thinking which culture he would most identify with. Some argue that he has even better Chinese than Chinese themselves! Would he feel pulled by Chinese culture and his own Canadian culture? I've heard that there comes to a point when foreigners live for such a long time outside their own country, that they begin to no longer identify with their former customs. They begin to take on a new set of customs or habits.

Even in myself, I can remember in Japan how my body language and social cues seemed to be shaped by the things I would observe in others. I didn't realize at the time, but now in China, I can see again how this is happening. Its really strange to step back and take a look at yourself and how the places you have been, the people you have met or the experiences you have had, have all made a literal "impact" on you.

What happens, then, when a foreigner returns to their own country. Are the made to feel ambiguous about their own culture?

Dashan, I wish we could meet for lunch. I've already made a list of the questions I would ask you.

coming up for air.

Over the last number of months, I have had a love/hate relationship with China.

There are some days where everything goes right - the bus going to your work is on time, the weather is good and you can walk without a pool of sweat below you. You don't seem to notice the men who stare at you, your coffee is actually what you ordered, your lunch has recognizable meats in it, the stars seem to align and everything is like clockwork. I love those days.

Then, you have whats called "A China day" - when nothing seems to go right. You seemingly can't get anywhere on time, it takes you 3 hrs to get a small chore done, the man on the bus cannot take his eyes off you, your lunch has nothing that looks like a recognizable meat or vegetable, your students decide not to talk that day, and when you get back to your apartment at night the elevator again decides not to work for you.

Its really hard to predict this country. I realize that I'm a foreigner living here and the language is daunting, but sometimes its as if China has no rhyme or reason to it. And somehow in the midst of all the confusion and seeming disorder, patterns emerge. You begin to understand what the people are about, why things can be confusing and what you can do to make yourself feel better or cope.

Sometimes as a foreigner, its so easy to feel that a country is swallowing you, and you are desperately trying to come up for air. When you finally learn how to breathe, things actually start to become entertaining, in a sense. Its like you can step back, and look at all of it like a movie in a way. A movie that you are participating in. I've finally gotten to the point now in my time here, that I can breathe and I look at each day as an adventure and I try to consider how I can learn something from most moments here. I think of my experiences here, and how I love to write about them, and that in itself helps me to breathe.

Recently, I've been looking for the space between. Maybe I don't want to say that I love China or I hate China, but I want to say, "China is teaching me." I'm learning from this country. It gets me to think about the taken for granted values in my life. The values that I never used to think about, have come under intimate observation here. I have more time to think about my family, my friends, my work environment and my beliefs.

I'm still breathing, and trying to take in this whole experience, but I'm also remembering to take one day at a time.

life's seasons...

Tommorrow, I turn 26th. I didn't think this is where I would be at 26.

And, I'm happy about that.

I think about the places I have been able to travel to over the past few years, the people I have encountered, and my family and friends who support me in the life I am leading.

There is a song a friend shared with me a while back,

"throught twenty-six summers
and twenty-six wintersi’ve laughed in the springtime
i’ve cried in the rain
though i’ve questioned the meaning
of some of life’s seasons
it’s true that they’ve left me
holding on tighter to You

my one desire for the road ahead
is that we would walk it together
Friend and King, You’re my everything
may i stay by Your side forever
for when my heart’s afraid, You’re near
whispering to my soul, ‘don’t fear’"

I feel as though I have just begun to cling to something greater than myself through this whole experience. Living wide-eyed and in wonder. I hope life continues to unfold as it is.

vietnam

The last few weeks have been filled with some of the most incredible experiences and scenery I have ever had. At times, I sit to write and I don't have the words to say or to even try to articulate what I have been seeing.

I arrived back early this morning from Vietnam, with a rush of feelings and images in my mind. After a long 7 hr bus ride, a gruelling 12 hr train ride, I made it back to Guangzhou. It all seemed liked such a blur. Part of the whole travelling experience in this side of the world, is that you can travel relatively cheaply and you get everything that comes with that. Long lines, people pushing to get on the train, children crying, but also the occassional friendly chat with a stranger. As my friends and I were literally sitting up for 12hrs on a train, I thought to myself, "There is no way that I am sitting up for 12 hrs again on a train in China." It was partly humourous: people were sleeping while standing, some where sleeping the bathroom, other would watch us foreigners play cards.

Vietnam has been one of these impressionable experiences. One of the luxuries about living in the south of China is that it is a bridge to so many other Asian countries. I remember crossing the border over a week ago, and seeing how the atmosphere seemed to immediately change. The rice fields accompanied the surprisingly bright, tall three short homes along the road. With the unusual mountains and the blue sky, I knew that Vietnam would be a place like none other.

Once arriving into Hanoi, I immediately noticed the presence of the motorbikes. They are everywhere. You almost need to hold your breath as your vehicle swirves to change lanes. Hanoi has so many small streets, filled with small shops, old restraunts and yes, more motorbikes. I guess, my only knowledge of Vietnam was the famous war that happened a number of years ago, but to arrive to booming, busy city was so refreshing. To see some of the modern touches of tourism, along with the traditional Vietnamese society still evident, makes for an interesting walk down the street. I regularly had to dodge grannies on motorbikes, as well as workers carrying rice on their shoulders.

With no specific agenda in mind, we made our way to our hotel, in the heart of the Old Quarter of the city, and then had a delicious meal of authentic Vietnamese food. The Old Quarter has over 36 streets all with different styles and atmosphere. One thing that perhaps made one of the most beautiful impressions, were peoples smiles. It seemed at ever corner or every shop, you would get a wave and a smile from someone.

One of the reasons many travellers go to Vietnam is for Halong Bay. A series of thousands of islands, and limestone mountains on water. My friends and I hopped on a junk boat for an over night trip. To our surprise, there was just 5 of us! We had an entire boat to ourselves that we could walk around around freely. Our guide took us to some famous caves, we swam in the ocean, jumped over the boat, kayaked, and soaked up the glorious sun. It was as if we entered another world. Only to be surrounded by water and thousands of tiny islands. As I looked across the water to see what I was seeing, I took a deep breath and listened to only the sound of the water. At night, went the boat was still, I sat on the top of the boat and looked up into the star-lit sky, surrounded by these islands. I felt free.

Once arriving back into Hanoi, I had no idea what other little adventures I would have. One of my friends and I actually hopped on a motorcycle to our new hotel. Seeing Hanoi again, but this time from a motorcycle was an even more surprising experience. Weaving through traffic, hearing the local people and smelling the local street vendors gave me a new perspective on the city. If this wasn't enough, I took a 12km cycling trip into the heart of Cam Troc, to see a couple villiages and temples, and to take in the amazing mountains Vietnam had to offer. My friend Eva and I also ended up on a small raft down a river in Hua Lu. We had a lovel old Vietnamese couple roe us own the vast expanse. At one point, I stretched out my hands and ran them along the water. It was so fresh. So cool. Vietnam has been one of the most incredible places for photography for me. My hands and my eyes actually began to hurt by the end of the trip. It seems as if my camera has helped me to capture the things I have been wanting to capture all my life.

Vietnam - the sights, the sounds, the smells, the people. It was also a sobering reminder that this world is such a spectacular place. And when you travel, you feel big and small at the same time. When you search for something or when you visit a place, it somehow leaves a mark on you. What a glorious feeling to touch and see a new place. The one danger though...it that it always leaves you hungry. You want more. You want to see more.

"The mountains are His, the valley's are His, the stars are His handiwork too..."