beauty in the breakdown

So, these past few weeks, countless things have seemingly gone wrong. Now, its often not the big things that cause me stress. Funny, the big things I usually interrpret as situations that are teaching me something. It also got me to thinking - why is it that I end up doing the big things really well and the small thing cause me to lie awake in the middle of the night.

This list of small things include:

1. my phone apparently not recieving or getting calls for about 5 days

2. a car alarm going off outside my window at 4am for 2 hrs, getting very little sleep

3. a night club opening up tonight outside my apartment

4. loosing my apartment keys for a day, stressing out thinking someone was going to break into my place

5. a window cleaner suddenly appearing outside my bedroom window at 8am.

6. having a mis-communication with someone

7.coming home to water on my floor due to my water machine deciding to leak while I was away at work

8. someone laughing at me and pointing on the street

(Funny, when I see them written like this, they don't look all that bad)

This was enough to get me to thinking...did the world just decide to open up the clouds and bring an epic amount of small frustrations? for an entire two weeks?

I don't know. They could all be random, and its quite probable they were not all directed at me nor could I really control these from happening.

 As I am currently still listening to the bass of the night club outside my window, I'm beginning to bob my head. I also cleared up the miscommunication today, which actually turned out not to be a big deal. I'm also recalling that the water machine didn't really do any big damage in the first place and my lost key was also because I simply left it in a strange place. 

This week in my classes, one of the topics was on living abroad. I recalled the lesson and remember telling the students, "You have to see living abroad as being like a big experiment. There are many unknowns, and many things you can't control, but its all about how your respond to those unknowns." Turns out, I taught myself this very piece of advice tonight. Why do I run away with myself sometimes? I have chosen this life for myself, and I think of the good that has far outweighed the bad these last couple weeks:

1. talked with one of my best friends on the phone for over an hr.

2. told a student she was capable of being something more.

3. laughing until my sides hurt

4. seeing past someone's words, and understanding their heart.

5. playing the keyboard at my church, and falling in love with God all over again

6. having a few good workouts at the gym

7. having a really encouraging Chinese teacher

8. working out travel plansof when Cinda comes to China in a few days

9. forgiving something I had held onto for a long time

10. singing at the top of my lungs in the morning yesterday.

This country always teaches me lessons. Sometimes the ones that are painful to learn, and others that bring a quiet smile and a reassuring confidence. With each lesson, I'm learning to continually not take anything for granted. Wanting to listen for that moment I take in something important or am reminded of what was there in the first place. I'm remembering too that the reason I am living away from home, is so that my faith can be increased and my own cares and worries are eclipsed by something greater.

So if I loose my keys again, or the water decides to leak...I will just shake me head, and laugh quietly to myself. I live a life fully my own, and that makes all things an adventure, some things unknown, and others worth writing about.