I've been pouring out my heart over Chad Lawson's "Song for Prayer" this past week. I've had so many things go wrong, and I could feel myself starting to loose my ground and becoming warn out...and then, I discovered this song. Its a 30 minute, completely improvised, instrumental piano piece. Lawson simply went into the studio and took a deep breath and touched the piano keys, and the result is "song for prayer." It is the most beautiful piece of music I have ever heard! It comes completely from other place. It is played with such sensitivity, peace, clarity and purpose. Its almost as if God had prepared this song in advance and was just waiting for someone to play it. As you listen to this piece, you feel as though there is conversation between him and God. It is so beautiful to listen to.

With this in the background, I sat on the floor, with my bible, and began to pray with the Psalms. This piece of music helped me come back to an intimate place with God again. I could feel myself beginning to break, my fears and anxiety begin to melt away, and I felt like God was taking me on a journey, into His heart. Reminding me of who I am in Him. And speaking to me the way He does. Singing over me. The way only He knows how.

If you have the chance to listen to this song...it will transform your prayer life. Spend time with it, meditate on God's word as you listen to it. I hear the song differently each time I listen to it...I hope that you are blessed by it.

God's clap...

At this very moment, I'm sitting in my apartment listening to the incredible pitter patter of the rain on my window, and I'm taken back to a time in my life, when I was a teenager and my dad would take my sister and I camping in the mountains of Alberta. The sound of rain I'm listening to, makes me think of nights spent in our tent, and I would hear the rain on the canvas. The glorious rain. I used to love nights like these. I would purposely try to stay awake to take in all that I could of this intriguing sound. Even though it would be pouring outside, I knew that I would be warm and cozy next to my dad and sister in the tent. I have always felt a great deal of peace come over me when I hear rain, wondering if each drop will be the same as the next...

Its been raining heaps this summer in Beijing, and I have always seemingly managed to find myself in the middle of rainstorms! While I like the rain, just last night there was this earth shattering thunder and lightning! If God were to just all of a sudden clap His hands...that would be the thunder I heard last night. I lay awake in my bed wondering when the next "clap" would be...I must admit...I was scared. I was shaking a little.

Amazing how stormy weather can be the source of so much comfort and peace, but also fear at the same time. God has been showing me alot about fear in my life, recently. Fear sometimes about my future, my day to day things, relationships, having completely confidence in myself. Last night, as I was in prayer on my floor, I believe God spoke to me and said to fear Him only. His perfect love casts out all fear. The power of His love takes it away. I've been reminded that He is God...I am not, and He knows me better than I know myself. What a comforting fact! God knew in advance, all the things that would make me scared or fearful in someway. In these moments of my fear, I'm keenly aware of my sensitivity to it, but the more I learn of God's presence in my life, the more I realize how present He actually is in all circumstances. Everywhere. In everything.

While the thunder and lightening is never something I will absolutely love...it does say alot about our Creator...his power, his workmanship, his creativity, his complexity. He made us...think about that for a moment.

i am thirsty for Your presence...

Luke Parker is a New Zealand artist. A friend of mine just introduced me to his music. I am amazed at how timely music is in various seasons in our lives. I hope this speaks to you somehow.

a babe...without a bicycle...

A few hours ago I was a babe...without a bicycle. Once again. Just a babe. No bicycle.

What is up?!?! I've gone through 3 bicycles within the past month. This is unreal. I thought I was getting better at this. My first bicycle I had for almost 2 years. That was stolen. Then, I bought another bicycle. It was blue and shiny. I thought I had a good lock. That was stolen. So, I decided to be more strategic and buy a bike with two locks, and one that was a little more low profile...darker colours, one gear, the basics. Then, I came home last night and the lock was literally chewed in half. Right out from underneath me. My bike was missing once again.

I wanted to curl up and cry. Just when I'm finally comfortable in my new neighborhood, getting to know people, and find my way around. This happens. When something is taken from you, again and again, it starts to just eat away at your soul...just a little. I feel like I'm losing my signature optimism. I need to find it again.

These past few weeks have really thrown me for a loop in Beijing. So many things have gone wrong...I got locked out of my apartment; I couldn't seem to do a thing right at work; bike got stolen; struggling with cultural differences again.

One thing all of this is teaching me is I need to be strategic. In every area of my life. Strategic (and understanding) in how I communicate with people; strategic in where I park my bicycle and how I lock it up; and strategic in how I do my work and deal with my students. But, most of all strategic in giving myself a break. Strategic in investing in myself. Everything requires some kind of strategy here.

I went out this morning and bought myself a new bike. I got on the bike and rode. I'm not letting this place get the best of me today.

I just want my dad to tell me everything will be ok...