if i just touch His clothes...

I am amazed at how God knows each of us individually. Just as we are. Even before we were born, He was deciding the colour of our eyes or the trait that makes us the most unique. And now, He knows us as a Father knows His children...even deeper. Better than we know ourselves.

The other night, I just poured my heart out to Him with the things I struggle with in my life. Feeling like I sometimes have to be everything to everybody; wondering if this place is where I need to be at this point in my life; I sometimes wake up in the morning with fear in my heart; sometimes feeling like I disappoint people; wondering about my future husband; trusting Him with each and every decision I make.

In the midst of my lamenting, I felt prompted to look up this online devotional that I read every now and again. And this was the verse that was the reading for the day:

Mark 5: 25-34

"And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. ²⁶ She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. ²⁷ When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, ²⁸ because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” ²⁹ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

³⁰ At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

³¹ “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”

³² But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. ³³ Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. ³⁴ He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Over the past few weeks, I felt myself trying to control everything, to convince myself I have got it all together. I caught myself, and began to unravel. And told God everything. All my cares. All my worries. All my struggles. All my truths. As soon as I opened His word...He met with me. And spoke to me the way only He knows how. I could see myself as this woman in the story. God looking for me in a crowd of people. Knowing that He will find me. And I will be found in Him. He takes away my fear and calms me, and reminds me of how much I matter to Him, even when I feel like I don't. He knows what's in my heart even before I say it. I feel so comforted knowing this. As I read this verse, I couldn't help but feel that God led me to read it...His works are beautiful.

All we need to do is call out to Him...and He answers us. No matter where we are in the world. He finds us. I thank God that He pursues us like He does. That we are on His mind. I hope this somehow speaks to you today. Wherever you are. Whatever you are doing.