is it worth it?

Why do things always always seem to get more dificult before they get easier? Little interuptions, little frustrations get in the way, and we have to try harder and be even more determined to get done what we need to get done. As I prepare to leave for another Asian country in a mere 10 days, these little frustrations are causing me to ask the question, "Is it all worth it?"

In the last month being home, I have had to say long waited hellos and goodbyes to people in the same day. My priorities have changed since coming home from Japan. Something inside is different. Life has become more simple. I cry more. I laugh more. I react to everything differently. I see people for exactly who they are. I want to understand things more, just not quitely accept them. I want to question more. I understand myself more. Maybe, even accept myself more. My relationships with friends and family have changed. Some have stayed the same. Other relationships have become deeper. Some have become more distant. The way I feel about Canada has changed. I love this country. I love that I am Canadian, and I want to know how I can best serve the people of China, and how I can best represent my country when I arrive there.
I think what has changed the most is my relationship with God. While living in Japan, my first and only option was to depend on Him for every need. And it has created a whole other dependancy that I never knew existed. A surprising dependancy.

I will be going into a completely different environment again. New people, new language, new social rules, and a new job. I will also have chances for new experiences, new things to photograph and new places to encounter. As I write this, my heart is pounding faster again. I'm beginning to realize that this is what I must do. How can I not go on another adventure?

So, I guess I can answer this question for myself, "Yes, yes...it is worth it."